My book’s cover is here, Eythor checks in, and thoughts on the Patreaus scandal

What an exciting week for me, as I prepare to release my book, How High Should I Jump? The Satirical Guide to Pleasing Today’s Woman, by Seaburn Books in New York City, the definitive book for divorced and/or betrayed men who’ve been taking themselves and their relationships far too seriously!

Yes, been going back and forth all week with Seaburn, making sure the cover is just as I want it and the galleys are perfect. I have to credit Sam at Seaburn for putting up with my many requests re: minute revisions and essential copy-editing glitches. He never gave in to impatience and, judging from what I finally received on Friday, he was able to translate my requests into something I really like.

Take a look at the cover design below:

Pretty cool, right? Really tells a nice visual story. So now it’s on to the printers and, some time in the next week or so, I’ll be announcing the release date and all the particulars therein. No, I’m not planning a huge formal release party, but rather something low-key and with as little hype as possible.

I can’t speak for anyone else but I am so filled with sales hype from every corner, especially this time of year, that I am reluctant to aggressively participate in kind. I just am turned off by things shoved down my throat, especially things I haven’t sought out. Now, if it’s something I’m interested in, hey, I’ll go find it and I don’t need a lot of monitoring or some sales guy hanging over my shoulder, thank you. Same thing in this book arena: I’m gonna announce and promote it and make sure the world hears it’s available, but my audience are highly intelligent and generally independent thinkers who don’t need a lot of pushing; if they have an interest, they’ll buy it, I’m convinced, and any amount of my hyping its excellence won’t make much difference.

At any rate, we’re almost there and I just can’t wait. No, I have not drawn out a lengthy, detailed marketing plan which I’ll attack on a daily basis; that isn’t my style. Oh, I’ll prepare in advance and do my best each day, but this is the opposite of some corporate campaign, this is an organic, old-school effort outside any circles of influence. I will rely on the quality of the work to speak for itself, rather than my anemic sales pitches aimed shotgun-like to the world.
Finally got another email from Eythor, he of the unfaithful wife screwing his boss. Just a short note:

“Milton, I am safe. I have been away now and thinking deeply. I am not going to stand in my wife’s way of her pleasures and I know now I have been acting poorly YET IT HAS BEEN IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO ACT POORLY! MY MIND HAS STOPPED WORKING!!! All I can do is little things, small steps but no decisions, not yet. I have lost weight, too and still do not each very much, because food just does not taste good this right now. Oh yes, I have lost my job as well, but in some ways, Milton, I am happy to move on from there, because I do not think I could ever sit with those people and not feel ashamed for all that has happened. I never want so see that boos again, either! Some say in time I will wish to have a relationship with my wife, but for now, she is out of my life and no plans for divorce, no plans for nothing, in actuality. I just can’t plan anything.

I will write you soon and thank you, my brother, for at least attempting to lead me from my path of confusion.”

Eythor, as I said before (among so many other things), I don’t and can’t tell you what to do, all I do is spell out the consequences for taking certain actions. Your situation is not unlike others I’ve encountered, and I’m learning that it seems to be harder for men in their 40’s and beyond to deal with their wives’ sexual independence, as this present era of young men, by and large, seem immune to the ravages of betrayal

(…Which is to say, my statement is a lot of bullshit because the men I just spoke of have yet to form relationships where caring is involved. Yeah, no problem letting her go fuck anyone she pleases UNTIL you begin to care for her. Today’s relationships are quite casual, especially amongst our young, but if there’s anything I’ve learned about humanity in my decades of study, it’s that the problems of men and women aren’t going away. Just because this era has thrown off the dead terms of their parents (betrayal, infidelity, being true, commitment, monogamy) doesn’t mean they’ve effectively removed the meaning behind those terms.

In other words, I believe that, in time, the same problems that have always cropped up between men and women of every period will once again be revisited upon this group. I plan to be there to help whomever needs it pass through confusion into understanding, and to do it with humor and some dignity, too.)

Please continue to update us, Eythor, and don’t hesitate to ask for my input. You’ll make it and, once you read my book, you’ll soon emerge from your confusion…victorious!

Email from an old friend, J.:

“I’d love to hear your thoughts on this Patreaus affair. Are you condemning him and forgiving the women like you always do?”

Well, J, I don’t always forgive women for whatever they do, though in this case, alright, yeah, I’m layin’ it on the military creeps who routinely use women, and giving the 2 women in question a pass.

Now, before I get hit with ridicule, let me follow that up with some reasoning:

Forget the guys, men’ll do whatever it takes to get hot pussy. Those generals are no different than other men, and from the position of power they enjoy, they are tempted quite often to indulge themselves. Patreaus may be a hypocrite for condemning wanton sexuality amongst his troops then committing adultery in secret, but his era is coming to an end, the era of men openly preying upon women, and what’s coming in its stead should be very interesting. I said earlier that the problems of men and women never change; I believe that, but that doesn’t mean that setting and circumstance doesn’t change, and that new relationships built on different dynamics than previously can’t be adopted.

Hell, I’m only observing what’s taking place, today’s situation where women ARE forging new relationships out of the old dynamic. Women simply do not and will not be chained to the old standards of judgment, nor should they be. What’s troubling is the public and media response to what these women did, the hue and cry about ‘bimbos ‘ and ‘aggressive, ambitious sluts and gold diggers’.

People, these are the degrading terms of a previous -and unenlightened- generation, but they aren’t acceptable or applicable now. It’s offensive to call either of these 2 by any derisive term, for in my view, both women were exercising their right to achieve their dreams and desires, and using whatever means it takes to do so. They’re both intelligent, vivacious, beautiful and aware of who they are and what they want. Yes, if they committed any crimes, they should be punished, but it appears the only crime for which the public is concerned about is one of being open about their ambitions and using their sexual appeal to their advantage. Critics are both envious and resentful but more importantly, they’re judging them based on last generation’s out-dated standards.

Why not applaud these 2 brave women for going after what they wanted despite the odds and obstacles? Why brand them as ‘sluts’ when, in truth, they’re only following their desires?

While this story reeks of many unpleasant odors, by far the worst stench emanating from the affair is the putrid rank of envy seeping from its spectators. Disgusting…

In time, we’ll learn to see behavior such as these women have exhibited in a much healthier light. My book will surely help, so as soon I know anything more, you will, too!

One Response to “My book’s cover is here, Eythor checks in, and thoughts on the Patreaus scandal”
  1. Myron the moron says:

    Uncle Milt I just shit my pants and came in them at the same time. The cover looks great. Can’t weight till it cumms out. That will be a great present for the fucken world . Hope it cumm out before xxxxmassss. Great job Milt.. myron the moron

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