Clearing up confusions: Satire versus Seriousness, and ‘Hannibal Ad Portas!’

Hey everybody, hope all is well with you and you’re getting into the spirit of the New Era, the Era of Women.

Lots of emails this week and I greatly appreciate the kind words and questions along with the criticism. Steve G asked me why I don’t post all the flattering comments I get on my blog/website, since he has written me several, and I replied, “No, I generally do not post any emails comments, good or bad, unless I find there something of value that I can explore with everyone, and should someone really want the world to know what they think about my work, they can go to Amazon where it’s being sold and write a review for all the world to see. I would prefer that than to appear to be ‘blowing my own horn’ with selected, only-flattering comments.”

I will, however, direct your attention to one message I quite found salient, from Veronica J:

“Milton, I am really confused going to your website and looking at your book. On the one hand, I can see its satire and meant to be funny, but on the other, you have introduced very real themes of great importance to couples like us and it seems like you’re treating them seriously. I think your message is rather mixed, or even, forgive me, confused. Please help?”

Ah Veronica, thank you for asking what probably many are or have been curious about: am I serious about what I say, do I actually believe it, or am I mocking the very foundation of these important themes?

Well, yes, is my answer, yes to all of it. I am deadly serious about my themes, for as several have noted, I have gone to great lengths to detail the elements of the heterosexual relationship to a degree that very few have ever gone. Yet, it is clear, once you get into the text, that I employ a mocking, satirical tone, slapping men continually and raising women high and higher to such incredibly impossible heights that…yes, maybe all of us can see how absurd our sexual behavior actually is, and thus, while learning things ya never looked at before, you can laugh at yourself AND let off some steam without feeling guilty or ashamed.

Oh, I know some, maybe even most people demand their information to be linear, validated, orderly and without contradiction, but you know what I say to that? Sorry, you came to the wrong place, here Passion triumphs over Reason, Ludicrousness sits alongside Rationality and eventually forces it asunder, and under The Exaggeration we may see clearly the truth of who we really are, and are not.

So yes, I am serious, yes you need to take what I say seriously so you GET the meaning, and yes, I am laughing at and with all those who struggle so valiantly to do what should come naturally to us: loving one another. Yes, your relationships will vastly improve once you read my book, and yes, you may become confused along the way, even frustrated and alienated, and yes, all this is good for you and brings us to my next point:

I was asked the other day during a podcast, “Any advice for readers new to you and your work?” I replied, “Yes, read the entire book, every page, and don’t stop along the way and set it aside ’cause you think you ‘got it’, cause you don’t got it till I say I’m finished with you! Seriously, take the time to read the entire text, even the tedious Recommended Reading List, which in my view is a must-read, and on that list, I would also advise paying close attention to what books are referenced as not being ‘lost and/or disputed’, in fact, if I were a man seeking real enlightenment, I would comb over that list closely and look at those texts that the author has determined are not in dispute.”

Got it?
Hey, a very interesting discussion is brewing over at Goodreads on my reading group, Livy’s War With Hannibal. After a couple weeks of preliminary backgrounding, we have now opened this exhaustive text and have paused after the Rape of Saguntum and are letting the affects of our reading seep into our collective resources so that we…

Uh, what’s that, you’re NOT familiar with the Rape of Saguntum, or Livy’s War with Hannibal? Uh, you NEVER HEARD of the 2nd Punic War, Carthage versus Rome for supremacy of the ancient world? Wait, you don’t even have a clue who Hannibal was? No? My word, our educational system is a disaster! This, friends, is a real crime, forget all the petty theft and assaults, hell, THIS is a collective criminal assault, this dumbing down of our children, wow…

Alright, let me get over my outrage and invite you to come on by the reading group and get acquainted with this text and why you gotta read it. Look, friends, like it or not, we have WAR coming again, and I believe it’ll be a square-off of 2 global giants, just like it was 2200 years ago, so I am of the mind that we need to have an idea of what that might mean well before we are committed to it, and there is no better example of the horrors of real global warfare and what that means to a populace than a study of this critical book.

I mean, look at what you have here, you got the story of Hannibal crossing the Alps as winter approaches with 50,000 men, horses and 81 elephants; of Publius Scipio meeting him near Placentia on the Trebia in the freezing rain and getting his ass thumped; of the brutal slaughter of the unsuspecting legions at Lake Trasimene, and of course, come now, the greatest single day battle in the history of our planet, the Battle of Cannae, friends, where in less than 7 hours, 80,000 Romans and their allies were butchered. Then, wow, the year that followed Cannae, hell, Hannibal mere miles from the gates of Rome, everybody panicking and screaming, “Hannibal Ad Portas! (Hannibal’s at the gates!), no men remaining to defend the Republic, all is lost, it’s a mere matter of formalities before he enters and sacks the city, all the great generals are dead, when one lone man, Fabius, and despite relentless and ear-maniacal criticism…

Are you kidding me? Screw your video games and passive war-play, boys, read THIS book to fire your imagination…and give you an idea of what war actually tastes like, the endless, cruel and random bloodletting that always takes place. Read Livy with me, guys, and I guarantee you’ll lose your desire to see war sweep our planet yet again. Here’s the link:


Some interesting events loom in Milt’s future, which I’ll relate as we get there. Take care for now, oh and Spring Training is heating up in Arizona, so once again, it’ll be “Go Giants!”

Oh yes, another World Series championship perhaps? Why not!

One Response to “Clearing up confusions: Satire versus Seriousness, and ‘Hannibal Ad Portas!’”
  1. You could certainly see your expertise in the article you write.
    The world hopes for more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid
    to say how they believe. Always go after your heart.

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