‘Dreading’ Death, deflating “What if” fearful reactions, and the mind-f#ck known as Betrayal

Greetings again, friends! For those on the East Coast, and we Californians, this is one hot summer and not getting any better any time soon. Ah well, it IS and thus, since there’s little we can do but enjoy the heat -for all things pass, friends, both good and bad- get outside and groove a bit, what say ye?

Let us dive in, then…

I want to thank Terry Turen at WXRX The X! Rocks in Rockford, IL, for his timely invitation to participate on the Stone & Double T Show this Thursday, 7:15 AM Central. These guys are sharp, witty and a lot of fun, so yours truly will have to be on his toes to match repartees with the Morning Crew. I’m up for it, though, as you’ll soon see, so if you’re in the Chicago area, tune in this next Thursday at 7 AM for what should be a lot of fun, and maybe even learn something in the process.

Thanks, Terry!

Now, I seem to have gotten waylaid lately with so many emailers demanding information and pounding me with questions generally unrelated to my book, which is ok, I’m not here just to push my book at you, though I do wish more would comment on the book itself and their reaction to it. No problem, though, I deal with whatever takes place, a student of ‘Vale Tudo‘, the Brasilian Martial Arts form which was essentially the pre-runner for what we now call MMA/UFC style fighting. ‘Vale Tudo‘ means ‘to take on anybody‘ and this is my approach in Life: I am not afraid to face any person, thought or situation, for what is the worst that can happen, Death? Well, golly, friends, Death is just the dissipation and shift from one form of Life to another, and though I am not eager to die, for I so enjoy living, I am not dreading Death either, as I accept it as a part of my living experience here.

As so many modern prophets are telling us, we are souls having a human experience, a thought which I long ago embraced (and it’s just funny to see so many people running around lately proudly announcing their ‘spiritual discoveries’ which they breathlessly share with the world/Facebook, discoveries which, while valid clearly for the individual and their growth, really, friends, are nothing new. I mean, this is old news to the Old Heads of Antiquity, who as long ago as my beloved Golden Age had already pointed out, and with great articulation, what we Moderns are now stumbling so furiously to claim as ours).

Ain’t nuthin’ new, friends, though it may feel like it…

Yeah, too serious lately, all of us, really, our ‘problems’, both personal and social, have us all tense and uptight and poised to find blame with one another. I had to catch myself the other day, when I found my reaction to my latest ‘problem’ was far beyond what the problem was actually worth. Indeed, it is so easy to over-react and get out-of-proportion with what the situation requires; we’ve become so in-your-face about the littlest things, geez, we spring to fight about anything and have a real time backing off.

No, I’m the world’s worst offender and yet I’m happy to report I am progressing in my ability to NOT over-react to situations….MOST situations, of course, for I am still bedeviled by what bedevils me. Yet I progress and AM learning, if slowly. I now get great enjoyment from watching the foibles of others who struggle in this regard; not that I am cruel, but what other reaction can I have than to laugh at other’s poor or exaggerated reactions?

I had a direct taste of this the other day when a neighbor came racing into the house, “There’s a rattlesnake outside along your fence!”

I sat staring at her blankly, “And?” I finally asked.

“Well, do you want me to kill it? Should we call Animal Control? What if, what if, what if…”

Oh boy, the ol’ “What if” overly fearful speculation on possible dire realities; uh, not for me, thanks. I let her steam boil over for a minute, then I calmly said, “There are many rattlesnakes who cross the property, I don’t get too excited, so just ignore it.”

“But what if, what if…”

“OK, then go get a stick and move it off the property.”

“No, I could get bit, what if what if…”

“OK, so just leave it alone, it’ll move on eventually,” I wearily replied.

“Yes, but what if, what if…”

I am both sympathetic and a harsh judge of such behavior, for, though I understand, I no longer share her fears and I do my best not to inflame them. I am particularly insensitive to people clinging to ‘what if’ fears; talk about seeing phantoms that are not there! Thus, I can only find them humorous, those who insist I give maximum respect to their fears, and yes, I don’t mind publicly ridiculing and belittling you -gently- if that might show you the errors of your ways…

And I was reminded of how each of us, always, is at different stages in our evolution: what I feel I’ve easily understood and transcended, for you may be an impossible-to-overcome mountainous obstacle.

A friend of mine came into my office this week, guy I’ve known forever and a man who CLAIMS to really like my work, yet our short conversation revealed he is in serious need of some Quibner power reading.

G is divorced and still bitter over the details, it seems; he came in all glum and not even close to his usual ebullient self:

“She still wants us to be friends, Milt, can you believe that? I just said ‘hell no, never!’ “

“Wait a minute, why ‘never’? You guys divorced 8 years ago!”

“Yeah, well,” he said, going deep into what I thought had been long resolved, “she betrayed me and that still stings, so why should I want to be her friend?”

“Well, nobody is saying you gotta be buddies but what’s wrong with being civil? And what’s all this betrayal horse-shit?”

“She fucked my best friend, remember?”

“Yeah, after you basically drove her to do it by acting like a fucking wimp and becoming a bore!”

This went back and forth for awhile but I would not relent. Now, usually I’ll back off once I see a person entrenched and resisting, but G is an old friend who should know better; besides, freeing oneself from the tyrannical mind-fuck of betrayal is my business!

In a nutshell, yeah, you gotta read my book if you desire real freedom from such phantoms, but, here and now, Betrayal? You did it to yourself, brother, by being deathly-serious, afraid and loading all your fears/needs upon her until she ran from under the weight; by becoming boring and stale and not growing alongside her or supporting her in her discoveries; by demanding she turn all her attention on you and your shaky needs and expectations; by believing in some one-sided monogamy where she is chained to you yet you’re free to explore as much Internet porn as you wish; those and so many mind-fucks, brother, all of which are last century responses which didn’t work then and are now essentially attempts to enslave. Modern Women, friends, will not accept a whining, clinging, demanding man any longer, and you labeling her sexual or romantic acts with others as a betrayal is not keeping pace with the demands of Evolution.

More in another post, as the issue of Betrayal is so vast, gosh, you can write a book about it…wait, I already have!

…So go read it, and in the meantime, we’ll talk soon!



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