Reflections on my Father’s death, and the MiltnMia Show podcast is now live, hooray!

Hey everybody, I am officially back after a few week’s absence.

I had the dual difficulty, if you will, of dealing with the death of my father while struggling with a nasty bladder infection; if my wife, Mia, an RN, hadn’t caught it, it coulda been me everybody was visiting in the mortuary this week, yeah it was that bad and I let it go far longer than normal before I started antibiotics. I have since recovered, but that double-punch was tough.

I want to thank those friends who’ve written with condolences and words of support. Those who knew my Dad knew an effervescent and truly unique man amongst men, but he has passed on now and in many ways, I have been freed.

You ask, ‘How have you been freed?’ and I reply, ‘Well, my father lived his entire life feeling disappointment and a sense of failure about his oldest son (me) who he dearly loved but who never did what he wanted him to do. In truth, I always listened to my Dad but ended up usually doing the opposite of what he advised; or, I would simply not perform to his standards or lie to him in order to make him happy, which never works, though the liar is always the last to get it, you know? (I think parents have an innate truth-detection device, especially when it comes to their kids; I never got away with any non-factual story I told, yet I kept on peppering the universe with ’em in hopes of pleasing my Dad.’ I believe that is the very definition of insanity, for which I must confess to in heaps…)

So, yeah, I am freed now from the burden of having to please me Dad, that mountainous load of guilt that, in retrospect, is just stupid and a total waste of energy, and yet, I carried it for the vast majority of my life, a hidden shadow I could never shake, until now. Now, it is gone, his death has swept clean my sense of failure…or most of it.

But what of Death itself? Aside from the asides, what are my thoughts of this integral aspect of Life?

Well, as I said to my Dad when I visited him in the hospital for the last time, “Pops, Death is a lie, there is no dying, only moving on to the next part of our eternal lives, to what I can’t really say and the truth is, no one can, but I do know this and that is that Death is a natural part of our existence and since everybody dies, it must ultimately be good, and not something to be feared.”

I addressed my Dad’s disappointments, too, “Now is not the time, Pops, to be worried or fearful or to indulge your regrets and resentments, for they are meaningless now, and what is important is for you to remember all the joys and happiness you had and to reflect on your wonderful life, all that regret is just bullshit and won’t do you any good now, so go to the Light, Pops, when you pass on, look towards your loved ones, who are waiting there for you, enter the Light and all will be well…and if you have anything to say about it, let’s get this show going, either get your ass up and let’s have a cigar later, or let’s conclude this shit and pass on, no lingering, your little girl doesn’t need to see you like this and have to be put through some lengthy vigil…”

My Dad died the next morning; they removed the tubes and were putting him on ‘Comfort Care’ when he opened his eyes, looked at my Mom and then my sister, and died. I was going through my own ordeal concurrent to his death, laying in bed shaking and shivering then breaking out in sweats, until we started in with the antibiotics and now, 10 days later, I am again well.

I will be talking with my Dad often now, in ways perhaps we couldn’t when he was alive…


And yes, the Big News I have been itching to share for some time is now here:

Get Over Yourself! The Milt n Mia Show! is now live on ITunes! Yea!

This is the podcast I have been yearning to produce, a weekly show where Mia and I let loose on a wide array of relationship, sexuality and general life problems with street philosophy and a generous does of fun self-deprecation. We take on issues that nobody does -or can- and we give ’em a spin you have never heard before. Yes, bold, even arrogant words but I suggest you listen to a show or two and then see if it is empty boasting, or if Mia and I really do offer up a very unique angle on our oh so serious problems.

I am damn excited and proud of our efforts and I know that, if you enjoyed at all my last show, The Sexual Symposium, then you will surely dig this one, where Mia and myself are free to say whatever we want without a Thought Censor pouring over our every word. No, nobody censors us, and I hope the title of the show tells you our essential direction:

Stop taking your problems so seriously, and learn to laugh at yourself while you change your life to who you actually want to live it.

The show is a half hour or so, and it’s loose, wild, irreverent and, in my view, packed with information, thought and opinion you would be hard pressed to find elsewhere. No, there are no imitations to the Milt n Mia Show, my wife and I are originals and you’ll either like what we do, or get quickly offended at our arrogant, oft-flippant and casual remarks on the most serious of subjects.

Oh, and it’s totally free. Yep, you can download and share our podcast to your heart’s content, and that’s fine by me.

Now, as of today, we have four shows posted, but there’ll be a new show every Sunday; here’s the show link at ITunes where you can download and listen to us whenever you wish:!-milt-n/id796661531

Should you not wish to support ITunes, the show is live at Stitcher and, in the coming weeks, will appear on a number of podcast directories, of which I will be alerting you as they develop; here’s the Stitcher address for the show:

And yes, I will be pumping the downcast in the next few blog posts, so I apologize if I’m a bit redundant, but friends, I gotta get the word out!


Had a very cool interview with Lucy Walton at Female First in the United Kingdom over the holidays. She got to the essence of what I do, so should you care to read it, here’s the link:

And with that, I have a Forty Niner game to get ready for, so I hope you get a chance to hear a show or two, and we’ll talk more next week, take care!

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