Reflections on hardcore pornography’s influence on men, great early support for the MiltnMia Show podcast, and Redemption through God or through yourself

Well, hello one and all! Hey, we actually had a few drops of rain in Northern California this week, imagine that! Looks like we’re in for a long drought, unless Zeus the Thunderer decides otherwise…

(I’m updating my blog to a new look and have yet to make my completions, so please bear with me as I figure out how to set things up properly)

Let’s look first this week at an issue that I have discussed before, most recently on our podcast, one that seems to have afflicted a great many men rendering them essentially limp and useless and that is, the overwhelmingly easy access to really hardcore pornography and how that is affecting our men, especially our 20-somethings.

Got this from Mike R in Vallejo, CA. I’ll give you the whole thing; quite revealing:

“Milt, my girlfriend got me your audiobook, pretty cool kinda weird but then she was listening to your show and you guys going on about porno and now she’s all, ‘Mia is right, you shouldn’t be looking at them, you should look at me!’ OK, I’d like to but she doesn’t have nearly the body of some of the hotties on the web, ok? Now she’s a great person and we have a lot of fun but realistically, I mean, she needs to lose a lot of weight and she’s kinda uptight about showing herself naked and stuff. I like being with her and all but I just don’t see a problem with me looking at babes. It makes me hot and then the sex is better. She wants me to tell you I got caught looking at some hardcore porn that totally pissed her off, but like I think it’s fine as long as I don’t screw anybody else, right?”

Well, Mike, that depends on a lot of factors. If you’re only occasionally looking at some erotic photography of a few beautiful men and women enjoying themselves in a hot and healthy manner, there really shouldn’t be any issue. Men like to look, and any guy who tells you otherwise is not being honest; we’re powerfully drawn to the female form and it takes a very disciplined man -or a celibate- not to indulge himself in what’s out there and available on the Net.

That said, however, we come now to the actual issue and that is, just what is it you’re looking at and for how long do you do it, along with the essential question, are you openly sharing these images with her, or are you slinking around -like most guys- watching porn whenever you get the chance out of your woman’s view? Is it some irresistible force that you can’t break away from, or can you come and go without an issue? Are you secretly fantasizing about finding and screwing some submissive Double D Hottie and hoping your girlfriend will somehow figure it out and start transforming herself, or does your Porn Gazing only serve to turn you on more to your woman?

A bigger issue might be, how much time are spending on the Net looking at porn? Don’t you have other activities more important, or is watching porn something you have to do no matter what?

Mike, it’s time for some self-evaluation, because for most women, finding out their man has been secretly ogling other women, especially much hotter and ‘looser’ women, is an insult and a betrayal; or so it is often felt, judging by the amount of emails I have received in the last few years. Women by and large want their men to be attracted to and satisfied with THEM and not be found drooling over Tina-the-Hottie-with-a-million-anonymous-followers.

My own feeling about it, Mike, is that ultimately, an occasional glance at a hot body can be healthy and fun, if shared, but the trend today is far beyond that, into exposing oneself and indulging in imagery of a most hardcore nature, which I believe IS warping our men -and some women- by creating expectations in them about what type and degree of sex they should have. I have talked with a couple young guys who simply demand their girlfriends perform for them as they’ve seen on the Internet, and whop see those extreme forms of sexual release as normal and fine. Uh, I don’t care how you slice it or explain it, but violent BDSM gangbangs with numerous strangers is NOT the road to becoming a balanced, healthy and life-affirming person.

Argue with me all you want, and perhaps you’re secretly lusting to see your wife being savaged in some interracial orgy, but Time will eventually show you the error of your fantasiacal ways…


Hey, I want to thank everybody who’s taken the plunge and downloaded one or more of our podcasts, which are now up at ITunes and in various places across the Net. We’re getting our stuff together the more we do this, but having Mia in the studio addressing some of our more pressing personal issues has been a great experience, and I hope you are enjoying her unique and remarkable insight and direct approach. As for me, well, I’m more of the straight guy on the show now, setting her up so she can wax poetic, but I do insert my views from time to time, thanks.

Yes, Get Over Yourself! The Milt n Mia Show! podcast can now be heard whenever you’d like at the ITunes link below. This week’s show is all about how one actually Gets Over Yourself, which for Mia and myself is quite clear but for so many, I know it isn’t as easy as her or just saying ‘Get over yourself’. No, for a great many people, they simply can’t just deflate and/or drop their intense relationship to their problems, nor do many actually want to, so we decided to offer, in outline, a roadmap for facing your issues and learning just what it takes to let your oh so serious issues…fall off your back like rain!

Here’s the link at ITunes:!-milt-n/id796661531


I, uh, have attracted to the blog a number of evangelical-types deeply concerned for my soul, thank you, and normally I don’t give them much print, as there really isn’t much chance of any meaningful dialogue, but I did receive an interesting message from Griffin L in Modesto, CA, which I will make a passing comment in reply:

“…so aren’t you worried about Redemption from Evil? You seem intelligent but without God’s Salvation, you will be lost and…”

Now, let’s not be so sure I ‘will be lost’, Griffin. I take a much different approach to this purported problem, in that I don’t look to anyone, including God or any representative of His, to save me. No no, I listen to the Old Timers, who said emphatically, “You wanna save yourself? Then change your thoughts and rebuild your life on new foundations. That way you can save yourself from yourself and your deeply-entrenched patterns, rather than looking outside yourself for some other force to come in and save you from yet some other force, namely, the Devil.”

OK, label me blasphemous but I don’t accept the many messianic messages pounded at us from all corners of religion, “Become like Me.” Uh, sorry, I want to BECOME ME, thanks, and for that, I turn to the Old Timers, who freely give of their resources and ask only in return that I respect myself in the process, and pay attention.

That’s my kind of messianic thinking…

Hey, we got a Super Bowl to gear up for, and I some chili to prepare, F the Seahawks, go Broncos!

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