Milt’s thoughts on whether or not we actually experience Loss, some insights into the nature of Existence, and Sex and Summertime: Making hot summer nights even hotter!

A near-deluge of emails and queries from my recent appearance up in Nevada City at a men’s conference. Crazy, and I’m not sure why suddenly I’m getting these messages but here they are, hmm; maybe some article came out, but I’ve gotten a handful lately, some from guys I remember, but one in particular begs to be dealt with, so let’s do just that; from Francis:

I was at the conference in Nevada City on Isolation and Aloneness and was really intrigued by your statement on Loss, especially Death. You treated the young man in question kindly but you were not disposed to apologize for his grief, unlike some of your colleagues that evening, but you really pointed to the question itself, ‘What really is Loss?’ Can you expand on that again; also, why are you so opposed to prescription drugs in the grieving process? Thank you.”

Sure, Francis, it’s a great question, especially since so many people are stuck looking backwards at their lives and regretting not taking some action or regretting taking some action or somehow staring backwards at once was and feeling terrible about it, “Oh, look at what I’ve lost!”

(And you’re right, I never say ‘I’m sorry’ unless I am responsible directly responsible; there are other ways to show actual sympathy rather than apologizing, and one of those is quiet understanding followed by action.)

At any rate, when we are forced, often by circumstance, to ‘take inventory’ after any sort of trauma including the death of a loved one, we often find that, upon serious and rational examination, we truly haven’t actually lost anything, since everything in our lives of a material nature is subject to change and eventual dispersal of its elements. In other words, everything here being subject to change, by that very definition, our ideas of ‘ownership’ and ‘loss’ are effectively negated. Everything external from you is only being ‘rented’, if you will, for the short time you may posses it, and that includes friends and family along with personal effects and wealth. If you can’t possess it eternally and without limit, how can you say you ‘own’ anything, since before you know it, whatever you’re claiming you ‘own’ or is ‘yours’ will be taken from you by Death, and that includes friends and loved ones? There is no force capable of stopping Death and the dispersal of our elements, BUT, there is no force on Earth or Heaven capable of controlling and/or taking what is truly yours alone and no one else’s:

Your ruling principle or faculty, or, depending upon your tradition, your Will or rational connection to the Creator.

No, all that you and I own as ours is our ruling faculty and how we react to the stimuli of existence. That is exclusively yours and you have been given this beautiful connection from the Creator in order that you may overcome the various obstacles that will surely come your way in life and stand ever triumphant over these distractions as you stare into the face of the Creator.

What does this mean? It means, you are here to experience the joyful wonderfulness that Life IS and to share it everywhere. You are here to be challenged throughout your life so the brightness of your gift becomes that much brighter, which the Creator so enjoys. You are here to weather every storm with dignity, grace, humility and respect, including Death. You are here to see the transitory nature of existence while drinking deeply from the River of Being, that which IS and lies beyond the temporal existence of today.

Loss? There is no loss, not even in Death, for everything IS, according to Parmenides, and even Death is an illusion just as everything physical is as well. That which doesn’t fade away is what we call the meta-physical, and it cannot be experienced rationally or physically, only intuitively can we grasp at the realm of ideas, concepts, beliefs, ethics, values and principles, those precepts which are not subject to change and decay but lay apart from us forever, yet, again, can only be experienced intuitively.

My Father died in January, his twin sister and her husband a few months later whom I dearly loved. I have experienced the death of many loved ones and friends, and I have my own physical struggle which haunts my every waking moment, and yet I did not cry for my loss, for I understand that I am blessed -as all of us are- to have lived the life I have, with those whom I love, and that their passing, while momentarily sad of course, is no reason to yield to the depressive forces all about me, but to celebrate their lives I shall and to see the passing nature of all that exists, there I shall, too, while breathing thanks to the Creator for every blessing I enjoy.

Obviously I’ve yet to even scratch the surface of this profound question, and I may not have even done that justice, and books can and should be written and have been written on the subject but I will conclude here by re-stating that the idea of Loss is an illusion and those selling us Loss and the temptation to yield up our balance to the forces of misery are not my friends, oh no, I reject depressive, weakening thoughts and their salesman, away! I seek to live and enjoy and be ready when the Creator calls to ask, “What have you done with the many gifts I have given you?”

For that moment, friends, I will be ready!


This week’s MiltnMia Show podcast:

Sex and Summertime: Making hot summer nights even hotter!

Milt says summer is his favorite time of year and that the show will explore getting in shape for hot summer nights and some of the rules and guidelines for doing it together as a couple, including exercise and dietary tips. Mia recommends doing something you enjoy as a first step, “Swimming is one of the best ways to get in shape without feeling the weight of your body, which makes exercise even harder.” Milt asks about the gym and Mia says, “People that like gyms are usually analytical, they like to measure how many calories they’re burning and use machines they fight against, but when you’re indoors, you’re watching a screen and you’re nervously comparing and competing against everybody. Being outside is best because of the uneven conditions; you’re breathing fresh, clean air, and you’re in harmony with the Source.” Milt asks, “What are some general dietary tips you’d recommend?” Mia responds, “The Number One thing everybody needs to do is drink more water.” Milt asks what shouldn’t they do. Mia says, “Avoid animal products, refined and fried foods as much as possible; those are the greatest poisons in our life.”!-milt-n/id796661531

If you don’t have an ITunes player, you can hear it directly on TuneIN:


Ah, summer! Hot as blazes today, so we’re headed out for a swim; enjoy the heat, and take care!

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