Being a lover to your wife forever, the hypocrite with the cigarette, and Young Women in Porn from the Woman’s Perspective

Fabulous night last Saturday at the annual Cana Ranch Harvest Party! Just fabulous, all sorts of old friends attended, Mia looked dazzling, the food was superb and the adult beverages? My, they slide down easily, way too easily in my case, my word…

I had the privilege of sitting with an old friend, Mike, who I hadn’t seen in years. Long story short, Mike recently got divorced, “…from the biggest slut you ever met, Milt, she was screwing half of California and I never knew it! Been together for 8 years and it hit be blind-side.”

This statement pricked my interest. “Wait a minute, you never knew it? You never saw any signs?”

Nah, hell, we trusted each other and we said we weren’t gonna have a traditional relationship, and it worked good for awhile…”

Then what happened” I asked.

Well, you know women,” he replied, as if that empty platitude would satisfy me. Hardly!

Yes, I do know women and I know that she wouldn’t have started screwing other people if you hadn’t dropped the ball in some way.”

Oh, man, it was as if I had punched him in the mouth…and he wanted to punch back! “What? The bitch started screwing around on me behind my back, how the fuck did I drop the ball?”

I hadn’t seen Mike in maybe 20 years, and I knew nothing of his relationship or even entire life save what he told me, but I know relationships, and I know women don’t just ‘start screwing around’ unless there’s some problem at home.

…Besides, I’d had more than my fair share of adult beverages, and Truth didn’t have to work too hard to escape my liquored lips.

You can bullshit me and yourself all you want, but unless you remain a consistent lover to your woman, she will eventually find others who will be, so you either fucked up by ignoring her and not doing your part, or in some way you stopped being that guy.”

Boom! Bulls-eye! “WTF? You a mind-reader, Milt?” He stared at me. “How do you know?”

Doesn’t matter, it’s my field, so what matters is what are you gonna do, you gonna sit crying about it or you gonna realize your error and fix shit next time or/

Well, I was tryin’ to make things better but I’m just so fuckin’ pissed off…”

I’ll spare you the remainder of our talk, as it was not suddenly and neatly resolved, he didn’t instantly see his role in the whole mess nor did he quickly come to understand a path out of his misery; no way, he is still confused and aching and unable to get off the couch, like what happens to most anybody when they get kicked in the gut after infidelity, but he had the chance to spill his anxiety and despair on an empathetic ear, and at least for those few minutes, he felt better.

The pain of Betrayal, no matter how or why it happens, is always brutal and is not always easily disposed of…

~

Maybe an hour later, I was sitting at the edge of the orchard, enjoying a fine Dominican, when a skinny guy with a cigarette in his mouths walks over to me. “Hey do you mind if you put that out?” he said.

I didn’t understand, “Uh, what’s that?”

Your cigar, I hate cigar smoke, would you put that out?” There the guy stood, a few feet from me, cigarette right there in his mouth. I instantly smelled a rat, “Ah, I get it, funny, you’re effing with me…” and I started to move away.

No I ain’t, I just can’t tolerate cigar smoke,” he said.

Alcohol coursing through my veins, I turned in disbelief, “You got a ciggie in your mouth and you want me to put my cigar out?”

Yeah,” he said.

Now, maybe years ago I would have responded aggressively, called the guy an ass or in some way challenged him, but I’m so soft and squishy now, I don’t want to fight with anybody…

BUT, I don’t back down when confronted with hypocrisy: what was I gonna do, crush my cigar and apologize, ‘oh I’m sorry…’? Screw that, I wasn’t sorry and this guy was being a complete jerk.

See that area over there, on the other side of the party?” I pointed, and he turned for a second to look. “You go there, I stay here, end of problem.”

He mumbled a vulgarity but I only stared back at him, and eventually he ambled away. As my grandmother, Hazel, would have said, ‘The nerve of some people…’

Indeed!

~

This week’s MiltnMia Show podcast:

Young Women in Porn from the Woman’s Perspective, and The MiltnMia Compatibility Checklist Pt. 3

After introducing the show, Milt opens this week’s topic, young women in porn from the woman’s perspective, and mentions the email that got him looking at the issue differently. “Who would be willing to allow 10 male strangers to use your body like that? What is attracting young women to do porn?” He reads an email from a woman who’s daughter wants to get into porn and is being pushed by her older BF. Mia, “It’s a trend, though women have always engaged in sex for money, but it’s the new normal and girls are curious and think it’s hot, especially when a girl is young and inexperienced. There are too many negatives to doing porn. Everyone wants to feel like a star and doing porn is an easy way to feel like a celebrity; the problem is, later, you’ll look back and feel used. Plus the STD concern, along with allowing strangers to use you as a piece of meat rather than seeing you as a person.” Milt, “What kind of long-term problems do women in porn have to do deal with?” Mia, “You stop enjoying sex; you distrust men; you feel bad about yourself for selling yourself cheaply.” Milt, “Any advice you can give our emailer?” Mia, “The more you say ‘don’t do it’, the more she’ll want to, so have an honest talk, lay out the concerns and tell her the truth but let her make the decision. Sometimes our problems and mistakes are the greatest benefits and teachers we can have; just try to make sure she’s safe.”

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/get-over-yourself!-milt-n/id796661531

~

Yes, Giants haters, like it or not, we are in the World Series again 3rd time in 5 years. While everybody has jumped on the Royals’ bandwagon, deservedly, and while I, too, am a big fan of their team, I bleed orange and black, and despite all the dis-respect for my team coming form the Eats Coast and the media, I have a strong feeling we will find a way to beat the Royals. Let’s play the games, of course, but I think we take it in 6.

Go Giants!

 

r.miltonquibner@yahoo.com

MiltnMiaShow@gmail.com

MiltnMiaShow.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: