Cleaning up after Death, and the MiltnMia Show Valentine’s Day Special: Tips for developing a loving relationship

The business of Death is not pleasant, friends…

That’s what we’ve been dealing with all week, tying up all my mother’s loose financial ends, which are, sadly, many. Thankfully, my sister, the executor of Mom’s estate, and I are in mutual agreement as to how to proceed, and I don’t expect any squabbles over money or things, since there actually isn’t that much to fight about! But Mom, and my Dad, didn’t leave their estate well-organized or delineated, which means, we get to do it!

Oh, throughout the week and every day, I have moments where I suddenly choke up and can’t breathe, wondering ‘How will I get along without Mom?’ Yes, I answer that every moment by simply going on to the next; we somehow get by after a loved one passes on, and Life itself just keeps rollin’, so there is little time to pity myself over my loss, I knew she would die eventually and her long, slow descent was not a sudden shock.

Still, I miss her greatly, no more phone calls, “Hey, Mom, how are you today?”

No, it’s easy to rationalize it, knowing Life is eternal and that, in all likelihood, we’ll see each other again, right? But, still, the shock of Death can never really be prepared for no matter how Stoic you may be, and I, too, have been a bit listless this week, although I’ve appeared on a couple radio shows and held my own, I’d say.

But every now and then, her death hits me, I then push away from my desk and choke up, and I don’t fight the feeling, I honor my love for my parents and allow myself to let it all wash through me, as it should.

Yes, I miss them both, but aside from simply soldiering on, what really can we do?

~

This week’s MiltnMia Show:

Valentine’s Day Special: Tips for developing a loving relationship

Milt introduces today’s theme, Valentine’s Day and what it takes to nurture and develop a loving relationship. Milt, “The aim of any couple should be to develop a loving relationship over time.” He advises that men, rather than buying gifts, should take that day and clean the house, cook a great meal then give her hot and lengthy romance to really celebrate the meaning of the day. Mia, “Don’t just do this on Valentines, try bringing once a week a day of love into your life. Something fun to give her a break, and you can include the kids, too. It’s not another material gift, as women need gifts that come from the heart; why not try a fresh bread you make? Or clean the house, dusting, little things that men may not notice but women do.” Milt mentions the debut of 50 Shades of Grey and suggests men give their wives a ‘private screening’ later. Mia, “Don’t be a follower of a movie, though, why not be your own creative director and come up with your own story, and love who you are?”

Milt goes through the tips they’ve mapped out to develop a loving relationship, “Honesty is perhaps the single most important quality you need for love to really grow, and the lack of it will just kill it, but why do you feel this is so critical?” Mia, “When you lie, you tell your partner ‘I don’t love myself because who I am, I’m ashamed of’, but is that why we are here?” Milt, “2nd on our list is the concept of patience, being patient with one another and allowing our lovers to grow, make mistakes and develop.” Mia, “We are living in a very fast paced world where everything is instant, but good things take time, especially cooking. Allow your partner to make mistakes without you constantly criticizing them.” Milt, “Next is developing good communication habits early in your relationship, rather than waiting until some crisis comes along.” Mia, “If you keep the habit of regularly communicating with your loved one, things don’t accumulate nor do they suddenly explode when some surprise happens.” Milt, “This next one probably should be attached to patience, because they go hand-in-hand, the idea of being humorous, having fun and making light with each other’s and our own screw-ups and mistakes.” Mia, “Some people take everything serious because that’s how they learned. Just don’t wait till the last second before you talk about a problem, and don’t penalize yourself with guilt, including calling yourself ‘dumb’. Humor makes things a little easier.” Milt, “Next is the idea of not smothering each other with neediness, or clinging to one another to the point that the other person cannot even enjoy their lives without you worrying over every detail.” Mia, “We all need our space, but it’s important to have time for yourself, so you can recognize your talents and develop them; if you spend too much time together, you become suffocated.” Milt, “Another quality on our list is to appreciate who your lover is and not focus on what they are not or should be.” Mia, “Learn to praise each other honestly; every once in awhile, let them know that you recognize their good qualities, so they’re encouraged to continue.” Milt, “Last on our list is to learn to be a lover to your loved one, which means learning the secrets of intimacy which your lover and you enjoy.” Mia, “One thing we’ve last now is our instincts,

and to be a good lover, you must be instinctive and sensitive. Only time will make you a great lover.”

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/get-over-yourself!-milt-n/id796661531

~

It’s the ‘sports dead zone’ time of the year, as I await spring training and the resumption of my beloved MLB after an exhausting and underwhelming football season. I’m not a basketball guy, so for me, there’s not a lot going on sports-wise, although very soon…

Ah yes, the SF Giants, winners of 3 of the last 5 World Series titles, will soon be battling away, and yet, once again, nobody is giving them a chance to repeat. I love it, truly the Giants are the Rodney Dangerfields of baseball and I’ll be there all season, cheering them on, something I shared with my mother, Nancy.

I’ll be thinking of you, Mom, as I throw my pretzels at the TV!”

 

r.miltonquibner@yahoo.com

MiltnMiaShow@gmail.com

MiltnMiaShow.com

 

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