Milt explains his ‘pro-woman, anti-feminist’ views, and Being who you are: Bullying, cowardice and accepting your transgender child

Interesting email this week, from Janice:

Milt and Mia, I love your show and I love your blog!! I was reading back about a year ago’s blogs and you were saying in that one (?) that the hole (sic) idea of men or women being superior is BS and that we should be learning to appreciate our differences instead of always comparing and measuring. I was like blown away by that thought, it was new to me and so I copied the article and took it to my women’s studies teacher who I just really love a lot and then I stood up in class and read it for everybody but I didn’t even get it finished when everybody started saying that the writer, you Milt, was super like misogynistic and that thoughts like that were keeping women still down. I didn’t really know what to say to respond and my teacher said to write back to you for your defense, so what would you like to say about that? Thank you, my mom and me are your biggest fans!!!”

First off, thanks for the support, Janice, Mia and I appreciate it greatly! Secondly, yes, I stand by my position: the entire argument about whether men or women are superior to the other is divisive and does nothing to unify the sexes, at a time when we are crying for unification.

Janice, I am an avowed lover of women or, as Demetrius Toteras urged, a pro-woman, anti-feminist. Yes, anti-feminist, for I have found that the righteous movement which once defined feminism, of which my mother was a staunch supporter and who was involved in many protests for equality in the 60’s (my brother and I were dragged around to all sorts of demonstrations as kids), has been replaced by a bureaucratic class of people who have made feminism their cash-cows and who have lost the nerve and the fire of the original feminist movement.

Where once those fights were legitimate (wage discrimination, sexual rights), now they are little more than power grabs and none of the current battles being waged are aimed at really benefiting working women or stay-at-home moms; they have long ago leveled the playing field with regards to wages and who have won every fight over sexual rights. Yes, I know there are some real a-holes still trying to reverse Roe v. Wade, a highly unlikely outcome by the way, but so many of the crying injustices of today are being ignored by today’s feminists, and it’s galling to me.

Before my mother, Nancy, died, we had a talk last fall about this very subject. I remember her words very well, friends:

I don’t even recognize today’s feminist movement…they should be boycotting Hollywood, especially hip-hop music which is all about degrading women, and they should be taking on how women are still being treated across the mid-east, but instead they focus on low-lying fruit, fights they have already won, like wages….”

The argument of who is superior to the other is a trap meant to divide us further, friends; we are not equal, we are essentially and eternally different and measuring which of us is superior is both specious and offensive. I love women yet I recognize the wonderful differences which make men men and women women. Misogynist? Funny, you’d think thought leaders like teachers would have long ago dropped the habit of labeling people they know nothing about.

Oh well…


This week’s MiltnMia Show:

Being who you are: Bullying, cowardice and accepting your transgender child

After Milt introduces the show, he speaks about today’s theme, Bullying, and that the issue is all over the news lately, but that bullying has been around forever, then he includes his own personal history when young, being bullied by school toughs, but suggests it’s even more difficult today with all the non-violence training taught to kids. Mia, “It’s all a big illusion, why do the bullies never pick on anyone bigger and tougher than they are? Because bullying is cowardice. And also, they don’t allow kids to fight anymore in school, and kids need that kind of experience to get stronger. Boys fight, it’s part of nature, but if we don’t allow it, how will they get stronger? Boys are naturally aggressive.” Milt asks Mia is she has ever been bullied, Mia, “Yeah a little bit but I didn’t care and I just kept walking. It made me a little introspective, gee am I that kind of person? And usually, bullies become losers later in their lives; their victims often grow up and turn it on the bully. The bigger problem is the peer pressure kids feel, it is extreme. We need to learn to not to get attached to any labels, but it isn’t easy for kids.” Milt, “We’re seeing a lot of girls now bullying each other.” Mia, “Because women are stronger now and they want to be equal with men.” Milt, “If you look through history, there are a lot of women who have been amazing bullies and pure butchers, but so many women and girls are now acting out in aggressive ways.”

Milt reads an email, from a woman who’s 15 year old daughter has been bullying a new kid in her school and has been arrested for fighting and now the woman wants some advice from Mia. Mia, “I think the best way is to set her down, show her what she’s been doing and to make her become empathetic. She’s getting attention from being a bully and she likes it but she needs to see how she’s hurting people. Turn it around on her and ask her how she would feel if it was reversed. Sometimes people do things just because of peer pressure and don;t really understand how it affects others because people don’t stop to reflect on what their doing. She needs to look at her behavior.” Milt, “What about the idea of punishment?” Mia, “Really? How do you punish that; sometimes the more you punish, the more aggressive they get. The best thing is to sit her down and point it out and ask her who she wants to be, a bully forever? Before long, you’re in a gang.” Milt, “Should the bully and the victim and maybe the parents get together for a discussion?” Mia, “Have the bully go to the girl and the parents and say ‘I’m sorry,’ that’s the best thing the mother can do and by no longer accepting her behavior. Maybe she needs to change her group of friends, but it has to come from her, though you can bring awareness to her.”!-milt-n/id796661531


Mia and I are leaving in a few days for a couple weeks in South America. We’ll be headed down for both personal and professional reasons and expect to enjoy ourselves immensely while working hard at the same time. I’ll spare you the details and will report extensively upon our return, so I may not have time for the next couple blog posts but I assure you I’ll make up for it.

In the meantime, please enjoy yourselves, and Go Giants!

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